How to feel attractive when you are over 40

How to feel attractive when you are over 40

Attractive – A person who is pleasing to look at

I recently spent the evening with a group of lovely ladies. All of which are over the age of 40, some 50 (sorry ladies). We spent the evening chatting around the table about various aspects of our lives past and present and shared things that we currently found difficult. These ranged from health issues to relationship issues. We had decided for the evening to have a relaxed feel, so we all rocked up in our PJ’s. I also took along my camera for a bit of fun.

What I wanted to do though was share with you the thoughts of my friends when I asked them the question, what do you do to feel attractive.

Now I am not talking about what it means to be BEAUTIFUL,

I have already written about that. 

One thing that really struck me as we were chatting was the amount of self-belittling I heard. They say that social media has a massive impact on the younger generation. But could it also be having a negative impact on the more mature of us? I found that when one of my friends said something negative about themselves it was like a row of dominoes. One by one they put themselves down.

I am not happy with my legs, I wish I didn’t have to wear glasses. My face isn’t the same anymore… Now I can sit here and say this is terrible, which yes it is, but I do the same. 

 attractive splits

So although I didn’t get a direct answer out of them that evening (no idea why) they did put pen to paper after and gave me their thoughts.


A big contribution to having a healthy mind is to be physically fit. This is achieved in a variety of ways, either through cycling, weight training, spin, yoga and running. When I run outside particularly during the colder months and my body feels warm my skin always feels amazing afterwards.


This can cover a very large spectrum, but on the whole, my friends felt that it was so important to take time out. Even if that means just being able to sit for half an hour with no distraction and a cup of tea. So often we forfeit our own time and replace it with helping someone else. Now there is nothing wrong with being there for others but when it starts in infringe on our own wellbeing its time to take stock.


They say that confidence is key, and this has to be a very attractive quality. We all know that even if we are wearing a whole new outfit if we have no confidence in that outfit we may as well just sit in the corner. I do think that there are certain times in our lives that we feel more confident than other times. But may I suggest that if you’re not feeling it at the moment, to just sit down and ask yourself why. Look at any areas of your life that need addressing and sort them out, because you are so worth it!


It really is funny how we have all evolved over the past ten years. I dare say that the majority of us would not have stepped foot in a gym in our twenties, nor would we have thought about whether or not the food we were consuming was edifying to our bodies. Jump to now and they all say that eating healthy is a priority, and if they don’t then they just end up feeling like crap. 


One of my friends dry brushes her skin every day and wears very little makeup! Now there is someone who is comfortable in their own skin. They all take the time though to look after their skin, hair, nails and general outward appearance.


Now I arrived at Jo’s PJ party with a major sinus issue. I felt rotten, however, I knew that the best thing that I could do for myself was to still go. So armed with my camera, tripod and drink for the evening, which was Seedlip I collected my friend Sharren and off we went. Now then I am sure that when you have a group of women together the evening just turns into one fun moment after another and being able to laugh at ourselves and with each other is so good for ours and your mental wellbeing. 


Being confident in yourself enables you to be able to dress in clothing that you love. My friends had fun in their PJ’s, and all of them love dressing up and going out. They do not feel that there is any reason why they cannot shop in the same shops that younger women do, or that they should not partake in wearing the latest trends. Although they are conscious of their bodies and even more so as they get older, it does not stop them from wearing clothes that express who they are and make them feel good.


Sleep deprivation at any age is awful. It makes you feel as though you really cannot function properly. As my friends are all at different stages of the menopause at one time or another we have all suffered from not having enough sleep. So we make sure that we go to bed at a reasonable time, and that we do our best to sleep for as long as necessary. To help me last year I purchased a little clock that woke me up in the mornings by gradually increasing the light in my bedroom. Now that little clock has made such a difference to my winter mornings.


I am going to quote this one word for word…

Have a bucket list, achieve goals and my main Moto in life is ‘NEVER BE DULL’ (Jo x)


attractive 3


Hopefully, this post has encouraged you to maybe spend a little more time with your friends just having fun, and that age is just a number for there are fun and laughter to be had by all regardless of the number of candles on your birthday cake.

I also think that it proves that when we actually think things through we can realise that we are a lot more attractive than we may think we are.

xx Sarah xx


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