Has the idea of being beautiful in today’s society changed…?
This is a question I began to ask myself after watching a YouTube video by a very well-known makeup artist, Wayne Goss. For the record, I suggest you go and check him out.
Anyway, Wayne poses the question about beauty and what does it really mean. Society and the media portray it as something that is on the exterior and is extremely quick to judge those who don’t exactly conform. But what if we, as individuals, made a conscious decision to challenge the entire concept of what it means to be beautiful? Rather than solely focusing on contouring our face, we focus more on contouring our character?
To be the best human being we could possibly be, to be the best friend, mother, daughter, sister or wife.
We have an incredible opportunity to change the perception of beauty for the next generation so that our children don’t grow up believing that they are not good enough, or that they continually have to get revenge, or even that karma is a real thing.
One of the main ways I think we can challenge what it means to be beautiful is by keeping a positive outlook.
If I am honest I really struggle with negativity and following on from the recent Royal Wedding, I was faced with it head on by way of Facebook statuses.
Facebook statuses, believe it or not, have the ability to show the real heart of an individual.
So here follows my example. One person wrote a huge paragraph about the Royal Wedding, how she was proud to be British and was so looking forward to watching such a joyous occasion. The other person wrote about how it was boring and cost the taxpayers an absolute fortune. Let me ask you which person would you rather spend the evening with?
So I believe having a positive outlook on things is one of the first ways of being more beautiful. I also think some of the following things help in instilling beauty:
Think Before You Speak or Type
Whether that be putting a Facebook Status up complaining about something that someone has done to you or moaning about who wore what and who has the most miserable face. I hate to say it but nobody cares. But what people will remember are the words you typed or said. And it will reflect on how people see you, not the person you were moaning about.
So, as that old saying goes “If you haven’t got anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”. Some of my friends know my feeling about this all too well as if I see that they have written something negative, I will either use the rolling eyes emoji or I will message them and suggest that they take it down. You may well ask why I bother to do that? Well, it’s because I care about my friends and because I know them. I know that other people will perceive them differently based on what they have written.
This then follows on to my second point in how to be more beautiful
Care about others
We are not responsible for other people’s words or actions, but we are responsible for our own. So make sure that yours are good all of the time. Care about those people around you. I can assure you that whatever you are feeling or may be going through at any one given time, if you try to look outward instead of inward it will completely change your thoughts and feelings. Once we start caring more about other people instead of being so selfish our lives will start to shift. Now I am not saying that it’s always possible to forget our troubles, but I know it will help in giving us peace when we begin to put others needs before our own.
Some simple ways that we can care about others, tell them how amazing they are or point out something positive that you see in them.
If it’s your child then tell them how proud you are of them, and give them specifics of those things you are proud of. If someone does something for you, even if it’s your Husband who has mowed the lawn, say thank you. I can assure you a simple thank you goes a long way. Why not send some flowers unexpectedly or buy your friends a cake? Help them weed their garden, or paint their house. The list is endless as to what positive things we can say to the people closest to us. And, simple acts of kindness can, more often than not, be the most precious things to people.
Another way to care for others is to put something back into your community.
Where I live there is a local man who picks up litter almost every day. It is because of him that we live in such a clean and tidy town. I have a friend who collects ordinary stones, paints them and turns them into beautiful works of art. She then hides them for children and adults to find on their day to day journeys. Join a local Big Feed and put yourself on the cooking rota for the homeless. Help tidy the local park, plant flowers, and weed. There are so many opportunities on your doorstep. If you can’t find one create one of your own.
So my third point on how to be more beautiful
Encourage and Motivate
Everybody needs encouragement and motivation. Most people today struggle in one way or another. From not being able to shift that bit of weight to feeling alone and uninspired. You only have to sit down for a few minutes and think about those people who are in your life whether they be close friends or family or even those we consider acquaintances or work colleagues. Consider what their lives are like. Then, ask yourself what you can do to encourage and motivate them.
There is nothing better than being told that you are an inspiration, and have encouraged other people to either try something new or stand up for themselves and get the help they need. One such way that this has happened was with the Facebook Group and Meetings my friend and I started for local ladies that are going through the Menopause. Had we not have started this then some of these women would have felt hopeless and would never have got the right medical advice. But instead, everyone encouraged each other, and the women involved felt empowered and recognised that they were important enough to deserve the right treatment.
So think about how you can encourage and motivate.
Even if it’s offering to go and help a friend choose a new outfit for a special occasion when they have no idea what to wear. Or attending a slimming club each week with your friend who desperately wants to lose weight but feels really self-conscious about going on their own. Just think about what others need, and be there to Encourage and Motivate.
And my final point, although I could possibly go on, and may even do a part two to this at some point is…
Believe that you are beautiful on the outside Too
We were all blessed with specific features, but instead of looking at our qualities that are endearing, quirky or naturally beautiful, we focus way too much on the bits that we don’t like. Why? Well because we compare ourselves to the images we see on our phone, televisions, and computers. We think that we shouldn’t have love handles, and that our hair should look amazing at all times, or that our skin should be free of any form of blemish! I know on many occasions I have had to pull myself up on how critical I am of myself.
Instead, we should take time to closely look at ourselves, recognise the qualities we have that are amazing and then focus on those.
Sometimes, it’s really powerful to pick one thing at the start of each day that we like about ourselves and speak it out. An example maybe “I really like my smile”. By actually speaking this out, instead of “I wish I had…this, that or whatever…” we hear ourselves saying positive things about ourselves. How refreshing is that? I have also found that – Talking of smiles, one of the ways that we can be more beautiful on the outside is to smile, to greet people with warmth and grace.
And yes to make sure that we are present ourselves well, by finding something that works well for us, whether that be a haircut that will stand the test of time, or always doing our make up in a certain way that complements. And, we all need to do these things with confidence, after all, there is only one of you to be proud of who you are.
I hope this post has encouraged you to be positive, love unconditionally, be kind, care, encourage and support, and make the most of who you are. This world can be changed, not because of governments or authorities, but because of simple people like you and I who just want to be responsible for the lives we live.
♥ All photographs were taken in my parents garden, which is always a place of beauty ♥